How do you fill your pets EBA? Giving treats, cuddling, walks etc.
The Gottman Institute states the following;
The Emotional Bank Account
Essentially, when you turn toward your partner’s bids for connection, you are making a deposit in your Emotional Bank Account. And when you turn away from your partner, you make a withdrawal. Just like a real bank account, a zero balance is trouble, and a negative balance is the real danger zone.
An Emotional Bank Account grows when partners make more deposits than withdrawals. In a six-year follow-up study of newlywed couples, couples who remained married turned toward their partner’s bids for emotional connection 86% of the time in the lab, while those who divorced averaged 33%. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is how they manage their Emotional Bank Account.
When the Emotional Bank Account is in the red, partners tend to question each other’s intentions and feel disconnected, or even lonely.
But when the Emotional Bank Account is in the green, partners tend to give each other the benefit of the doubt during conflict. They keep their relationship in the positive perspective.
So how do you measure the balance of your Emotional Bank Account?